Is Single - Parenting or Divorce meant for me?

I walked into my hotel room around 7:00pm

Been livin in various hotels for the past six months,

wonderin if i am a sex -  worker , nope, 

i am on a tv production that has failed to wrap up

This production has resulted in me being absent from home

for 6 months

my little nephew who was 61/2 months old when i left 

for this production has clocked 1, Waoh 

On my way home, the prospect of seeing him run into my arms

made my chest swell in pride  (i love him a lot)

To my utter dissappointment and dismay, as i arrived home 

and stretched  my hands out in anticipation, he shrank away from me

My attempt to explain who i was to him worsened the issue,

On his face was an expression of consternation , his eyes clouded

with confusion, running to his momma away from me his 

uncle, i could almost decipher a hint of fear

Then it struck me, my absence for six months.... has gotten my nephew confused,

It's sown  fear for me in him,

then i began think, "Is this how it is with children who grew up with their father doing..

"the dissappearing act"

Or even those whose fathers walked out on them and their mothers only to resurface,

like James Bond?

Consternation, Fear, Distrust, Confusion, Depression, Low Self-esteem all these ills atimes characterize the lives of children who have bore the brunt of absent fathers and broken homes.

Do i want my children to ever go through these as a result of my absence, or separation from their mother ? The thought of it alone.....makes me shudder....

The confused look in my nephew's eyes still haunt me, more than haunt me i sincerly hope they inspire me to

......be patient with my wife

......always be there for my wife and kids

......protect, shield and pray for my home

As a result, neither single - parenting nor divorce is a choice for me.

Afterall, the greatest gift a man can give his children is to love their mother.

Darling, i love you and i always will, I will be your Knight, Comfort, Shoulder, Support, King and most importantly your friend & teammate. 

I wz wondering

I guess i did a lot of thinking today......well i decided to add one of my previous 

write - ups , i wrote this for a dear friend,  hmmnn.

I wz wonderin...

Do we have to condescend so as to accomodate mediocres
Do we have to dilute the quality of our flavour because....
...those around don't taste so good.

I wz wonderin...

Don't people know....that
If they do not stand for something,
They'll fall for anything.

I wz wonderin...

Do people realise that
What you fail to kill now 
Will end up destroying you

I kept on wonderin....

Will people ever understand,
That if you live your life pleasing others,
but contradicting time - tested principles & values

You'll simply be like a flag - on - a - pole
that is blown to & fro by every gust of wind
And finally blown to shreds

I am still wonderin...

Does my generation realise ...
That some issues, people, ideas & mindsets..
belong to your past.

If you bring them into today, you make your present sour
And the future bleak
If you carry 'them" along, they WILL slow your pace.


I am still baffled 

About,
What prevents people from ..
Putting their foot down for what is right
Despite who's ox is gored or
whose toes are trampled

Is it "Fear of the Unknown"
Or is it "Unresolved Issues"
Or is guilt or a case of inadequacies


No,
now i get it, It is "Lack of Faith",
In God & their God - given abilities

The moment they begin to look inwards & upwards,
They will realise...

That they are NOT duty - bound to
Live their lives....dancing to someone else's tune, commands & demands.......

I finally thought.............

Do the Knights,Kings,Amazons & Queens understand.

That they are NOT supposed to submit the dignity & loyalty of their minds & personalities to mediocre personalities and weak mindsets

Do they realise that "If u are in a position of honor and do not know it, you are like a confused personality ( A beast that perisheth)

I wz just wonderin, simply wonderin.

A Voice in The Desert ?

I cannot attempt to describe myself as

A Voice in the Desert,

No! John the Baptist alone qualifies to be described as such

But the Desert , yes a desert, a people, my people , 

my generation lacking the proper VALUES and VIRTUES.

Occassionally, we stumble upon an oasis of ingenuity, 

a spark of principled living in a people replete with moral degradation

Priorities aren't gotten right, Motives are saturated with selfishness

An attitude of indifference that is best described as 

"Every man for himself, God for all of us and ....... 

may the devil take the hind most hmnnnn [sighs...]

But i choose to stand amidst a bowing multitude,

I refuse to be blown by every gust of wind.

I may not have a voice (yet) like Martin Luther King or

the height of the audacity of hope to cause an instant change

But bit by bit, inch by inch, gradually we as a people will get there

The greatness of Nigeria and my generation will be revealed.

Despite the dryness of the desert, 

Irrespective of the gust of the winds,

Though my voice isn't loud enough,

I WILL still whisper through the desert wind

and remind all and sundry

that to arrive at El -Dorado and see the nation and world we desire.

We must put proper values  in place.