So Long, Dad....

Letter to my Dad

Dear Dad,

Been exactly 1 calendar year since you passed on.

Didn't know I was gonna miss you now that you are gone.

How times flies, but guess what? I ain't folorn.

Some peeps are angry ‘cos they wonder why I didn't cry at your graveside.

I forgive them; I guess they aren't aware we shared unique moments way before your passing by your bedside.

When you poured you heart out to me and trusted me well enough to confide.

Truth be told, then, I couldn't place my reason for the lack of tears.

Probably because over the years, I hardened myself while handling/facing my fears.

Or because I was angry at the brevity of life and the reality of mortality been near.

One year later, I can define why I didn't cry.

‘Twas simply because I was overjoyed, that you held on long enough to accept Christ so as to reign with Him in the sweet by and by.

For me that was/is a big deal 'cos you didn't die, all you did was; to another address fly.

Since you left, a lotta things have happened, wish you were here to witness them.

Yemisi is married, happy and guess what? Her man's name is also Michael (you must be smiling)

I hear you asking what about me? Well Tehilah is my Queen, she's everything and more you prayed for me to have in a soul mate.

My only regret is you won't be around to sit on the front row (in church) when I look into her eyes and say *I DO*

I recall you always asking “shey ise nlo dada? maa se jeje o” (Hope work is going fine, take it easy o)

Well Dad, work is great, though I got distracted a while ago due to office politicking and some detractors but guess what? After the crisis, I came out a better man and god vindicated me.

Also, Dad, God blessed me with a German Machine for my last birthday.

I get tempted to race other cars on the freeway, but I promise you to be responsible when I'm on the wheel.

Mum is doing great, I know she misses you, nevertheless she's holding up fine.

Ministry has been a lotta fun too, family members in PCU are simply awesome, wouldn't trade them for anything.

My Pastors have been awesome, helping me grow one phase at a time.

My love for books is so great now that I deliberately avoid walking into bookstores with cash or my debit card.

Funny enough, I still select books and go back to get my card to purchase...guess I'm an addict, a good one tho'.

Lately, my favorite disposition is the one I learnt from my Pastor, it’s called Prosuke...

Prosuke (in Greek means the picture of a man lying face down before God waiting for instructions)

Truth is I have learnt that when I navigate through the waters of life based on God's instructions, I am immune to calamities.

In summary, since you left, things have been great, Proverbs 4:18 has been a consistent reality.

Truth is, I know you have taken your seat amidst the cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 12:1) watching my every move.

Please do me a favour, kindly tell King David to send me an email

I wanna learn the deep things he did that caused God to call him a man after His own heart.

So long Dad, wish you were here.

I know I told you before, but once again, I'm sorry I caused you heartache during those teenage years of mine.

But guess what, I'm doing well(there's room for more) and I know you are/woulda been proud of me.

I love you Dad, If Christ tarries, I'd see you in some 100 - 120 years’ time.

So long Dad,

Femi

PS:

I finally let go of the anger I developed when you didn't buy that bicycle years ago

But do talk to talk to an angel to inspire someone to sow the new Range Rover sports into my life, It costs just about $56,000.

©www.femiapex.blogspot.com 

I WILL ...............LORD

The blistering snow falling on me......
The gush of the wind on my body and in my face,
Swinging my body as i hang on to a branch that's about to crack.
Crack....Crack.....there goes the branch and it snaps

I plunge down and desperately reach out
For a branch, a rope , a twig anything to keep me
Alas i grasp another branch and hang on for my dear life

I am out of breath
As I am screaming for help
Wishing,Hoping & Praying
That the desire of my heart will be met

All of a sudden....a Voice
Not harsh & commanding
Nor cold & authoritative
But comforting & soothing says...

"DEAR SON..YOU CALLED"
yes Lord..save me i reply
DO YOU TRUST ME ? HE ASKS
You know, i always have i say...
LEAVE THE BRANCH HE SAYS

All of a sudden.....
I ignore the voice...
"Looking around for a more reasonable & logical option"
Forgetting that His ways are far above our ways
And that He'll never let the foot of the righteous to be moved.

Lord i just wanna say that....
For everything you tell me
I WILL.........
For every warning you give
I WILL.........
For everything you change
I WILL.........
For everything about everything.
I WILL.........

Just strengthen me to use the available GRACE....
Daddy you know I LOVE U
I won't trade nothing,nobody,no place for you.

I just want You to know that
I am willing to trust you all the way....

I WILL............. LORD.

WTG....In appreciation of you

Sweetheart,

This is a token of my appreciation of you….

      1.     Your love for God

Being sold out to God, it’s the best thing about you, you love God and you don’t hold back when showing Him.

My most favorite pictures of you are the ones with your beautiful hands lifted in adoration.

I am proud of how you seek to honor God in the decisions you take. It’s the most attractive thing about you!

      2.     Your Intelligence

      I’m fully persuaded that even if you didn’t study Medicine & Surgery, you would have still been outstanding at whatever you choose/chose to do.

      Your wit, depth and futuristic perspective all make you adorable every passing day. You also have this way of making me smile…remember *quack quack* *wink*

      3.     Your Beauty

You beauty is simply breathtaking, omo pupa o, omo pupa leemi fe…* hourglass lómo lati ile*

Also, the fact that you acknowledge that you have a responsibility in “maintaining” yourself adduces evidence to the fact that you are a total woman, spirit, soul & body.

                                                                      4.    Your Poise

Your poise, carriage and gait simply typifies what I call you ….Queen!

I was just scoping and admiring the graceful way you were walking down the aisles of Sheba centre, can’t wait to see you stroll gracefully down the aisle in your gorgeous white gown

……and also back up on my left arm

      5.     Your Words

With the Abigailic anointing you ooze every now and then, you speak to the King in me, I wanna take the world with you by my side.

Encouraging each other, I’m positive we’ll take the world for Jesus.

Alright, lemme stop now and get back to work. I miss you like crazy…..*sobs*, but I just gotta be a man…*straightens tie*

In a sentence, I want you to know, God literally smiled at me by bringing you into my life, I love every bit of you (even ur being naughty & pouting) with

every fiber of my being, I promise to nurture you with all I am and all I’ll ever be.

I celebrate you my Queen….so honored to be your Man.

God Bless you real good.

Your Boo…..

Femi Jedidiah Apex

GABBATHA – John 19:13

The pavement, stone place, the raised place, the elevated place, the knoll….

Depending on which language, Aramaic, Hebrew, Greek, the interpretation varies.

However, one thing that remains is what happened at Gabbatha, it was location of the Roman tribunal,

The place where Pontius Pilate condemned our Lord Jesus to death.

The Jewish mob thought they had influenced Pilate to determine Jesus’ destiny

Pilate must have thought…This man’s life is in my hands, his blood on my head.

Little did they all know…….

That they were all pawns on the Most High’s chessboard…

…Actors & Actresses in Jehovah’s script.

…Elements in the master strategist’s unique plot.

The devil must have been gloating, the demons must have been rejoicing.

Little did they know……

..That even at their best, when hatching out their deeds of destruction,

They remain tools in the Hands of our Sovereign God

Similarly, we need to understand and be at peace with the fact that…

Whatever policies the kings of this world effect,

Whatever decisions they take, while seating on “their thrones”, arrogant on their Gabbatha

Thinking they hold in their hands the “fate” of many

We, the righteous children of God need know that….

..Like Pilate and the Jewish mob were tools in God’s hands to fulfill God’s purpose for Jesus.

These policies, decisions etc are coming in place “to fulfill God’s purpose for us”

After all, “all (good, bad & ugly) things work together for good, to them that love God, who are called according to His purpose”

Eureka!!!

Life is in phases and men are in sizes,
As you move up in life, the juice..
..of your true priority oozes
Former passions simmer into a mild snooze
And acknowledging your true needs, refreshes you like a breeze...

TDH (Tall, Dark & Handsome) is what Hollywood
sinks down the throat of ladies...
But, of what good is a "bloke" who doesn't give God His place
He's nothing but a well crafted bloke who's buttons are flipped by Lucifer.

Curves are appealing, no doubt.....
Beauty is enticing, that's a fact...
But the only wise One says....A woman that fears the Lord...
she shall be praised
Also, like a ring is in the nose of a pig, is a gorgeous lady
without discretion.

Come to think of it...
The facts/"truths" which determine our decisions,
Are they transient or permanent?
How do they affect our eternity/?
Truth be told, there is a life beyond "here"
No one, leaves this terrestrial plane alive
(It is appointed for man to die once)

Eureka!!! It's finally dawned....
It's destiny suicide to make a permanent decision 
based on a temporary situation
Like choosing a life partner based on "her curves" or "the ride he drives"
The curves will sag! and the ride will become old!

Like my priest says..3 decisions determine your eternity
Who you serve (Salvation)
Who you marry (Spouse)
Where you worship (Church)

Eureka!!......It's finally dawned...
dedicated to the COZA month of Better Rewards - March 2013

Still, I remain... In fact..still, I rise...

Thought I was hit with the worst shot ever.
Bruised faith, dented ego, health becoming a fever.
Musin', Broodin' wonderin' if I'll ever get better.

Then came the news that I had lost my father...*jeez*
Plus Venus biddin' "so long", wishin' things coulda' been brighter
I was fallin', trippin, thinkin' could  the pit ever get deeper'

And right from the throne came a word...
Sayin' "Just trust me and I'll surround you with mercy"
Well I did, and this is my story.....

Scared of the magnitude of my purpose,
The enemy tried to distract me with numerous (disguised) woes
Dose after dose, my resolve almost came to a close.

But in the midst of the darkness, despair and gloom
His love, His grace and mercy made me bloom.
Now I'm stronger and in my journey, nothing like doom.

Every morning, on my knees by my bedside
Asking the Holy Spirit, for grace and divine hindsight
Drawing on the prayers from my priest and his foresight.

At last I broke free, and realised 'twas a set up for my promotion.
The season of losing heart, weight and my smiles was preparation for validation
The darkness had to flee and I now I dwell in illumination.

Finally, I acknowledge, I see the purpose in the pain.
He'll always put the patriarch through the "wine press " for divinity's gain
Now another page has been written in my chronicles still, I remain

Despite it all , still, I remain...
Despite the great explanations and heartache, still, I remain.
In-spite of a lotta things I can't explain, still, I remain.....

Still, I remain, my place before Him, no man will take.
His grace upon me, no one can replace
Yo' devil......I didn't lose my place nor my praise

Still, I remain, In fact, still, I rise....







PS:
Once again you lost enemy....* tongue out*
Praise God!